Have you ever had that feeling that you are a fraud?
It seems this thought is very prevalent this time of year. So many people are scraping by, barely having enough to pay for their basic needs, but we keep adding to that credit card balance; we stay in those unhealthy relationships; we wear a mask so we don’t have to be judged by others, and the list goes on.
Yet, there’s a need to pretend that all is well, that everything will magically take care of itself. This is what I call being in avoidance with what’s so. The worst part, however, is that we are in avoidance with ourselves.
This is how I have been feeling lately as I feel like a fraud because I don’t have certain areas of my life in what I consider pristine condition, which leads me to avoidance – if I pretend it’s not there, it’ll just go away. I then find myself judging my actions, my choices, and who I am.
So much of the time we sit in self-judgment as a way to avoid being responsible and courageously taking action. There’s a fear present that says, “You’ve already tried this and nothing has worked.” Or, “You are just irresponsible and nothing is ever going to change.”
Sometimes we are also afraid that looking at our situation head-on will cause us to feel terrible about ourselves, which just perpetuates the situation. Self-judgment keeps things locked in place and we end up missing out on opportunities that can unlock our greatest wisdom, creativity, and courage to take appropriate actions.
Underneath it all, there’s an underlying story that is desperately trying to find its way up to the surface and once it does it can heal.
The key lies in my awareness of it and surrendering to what’s so RIGHT NOW. It lies in choosing responsibility for my life and being authentic and honest with myself. I can no longer hide behind avoidance if I want these areas of my life to be pristine.
What does that mean, anyway? It means that I’m choosing to be responsible, that I’m creating a plan of action and following it, and that I have confidence in my ability to transform any situation that is not working for me.
After asking myself several questions, such as, “Why am I avoiding this situation? What would it take to transform this once and for all?” “How can I heal this?” “What are my options?” I sat in meditation and just allowed myself to surrender to my own higher power.
I sat there and wept, and as the tears flowed, I felt a cleansing in my heart, soul, and mind. I asked for divine guidance from my wise heart. Even though no words came, I could feel the heaviness being lifted.
Sometimes when our mind is just too clouded with fear and judgment, the best solution is to surrender and ask for support.
We live in a loving, supportive universe, and the only reason we don’t always see that is because we are buying into the limiting stories we’ve created or adopted from other people, and the lack of belief in our own power to come up with innovative solutions, which keeps us from seeing what’s all around us.
It’s like a horse walking with those peripheral eye covers (what are those things called anyway?) If it comes across a log in its way, it may stop and not go any further. If it could only look around, it would see that the log is not that long and it could just go around it.
Are you willing to remove the blinds that keep you stuck in avoidance?
Are you willing to stop being a fraud to your own self and choose authenticity instead?
Are you willing to stop judging yourself and instead surrender to your own wisdom and higher power?
My invitation is for you to pick an area of your life where you may be feeling like a fraud and ask yourself the same questions I asked myself (feel free to add to these) ~
Why am I avoiding this situation?
What will it take to transform this once and for all?
How can I heal this?
What are my options?
What actions can I take that would start changing this area of my life?
By when will I take these actions?
I would love to know what comes up for you. Please feel free to comment or email me.
Sending you an energy blessing as you go through this exercise and reveal the true you.