Are You stuck in a Pity-Party? Five Tips to get You Back on Track

Have you ever had those days when you just feel pushed to get “it” done, whatever IT is, but things are just not flowing?

Times like these call for a moment of silence. Literally. This is when your heart is saying that, perhaps, you need to stop, be still, and listen.

There have been times when I have been attached to a certain experience, outcome, or just simply wanting things to go exactly how I want them to, and then I hit a major wall. I go into questioning myself; questions, like, What’s wrong with me? Why aren’t things working? Why do I feel like I need to cry? If I’m not aware of the internal conversation, I will find myself on the ground, completely drained, and like I lost the fight.

Knowing what I know and having gone through many “being on the ground” moments, I am able to recognize when it’s time to stop and go within the heart. That’s when I ask, What do I need right now to pull myself out of the deep end?

Sometimes what I really need is rest, or grounding time in nature, or just some plain o’l TLC! If I need to let myself cry, I cry. If I need to stop doing what I think should be doing, I stop. If I need to just read a book, I read. If I don’t, the voices in my head will take over and it will be downhill from there.

Then there are times when I did do all of the above and I suddenly find myself in pity-party mode.

I can hear the voices of ego telling me that I’m lacking this, or that I’m not this or that, or that I’m not where I should be. I can find myself swimming in a very nasty cesspool of smallness, sadness, regrets, you name it.

Luckily I have enough tools not to let myself wail in that pool for very long. So what’s the cure, you ask? ACTION!

When I finally hit that “I’ve had enough of my pity-party” moment because it’s doing more harm than good, I jump into action. But not just any action. If all you’re doing is, well, doing, you’re merely distracting your mind and as soon as you stop “doing”, your mind will go right back to the thoughts you were in before.

The kind of ACTION that makes a difference is Intentional Action. When you start taking intentional action and do the things you said you would do that will give you the results you want, like, call that client, post that blog, write that chapter, your brain begins to move forward and has no time to think about the should’ve, could’ve, would’ves of life. Instead, it begins to think of ways that it can help you complete the task at hand.

If you are in the cesspool of pity-party and you’re ready to come out and be in the fun, clean, joyful pool with a beautiful cascading waterfall, then ~

• Override your mind by taking action on the first thing that comes to you. Bypass the writing down goals, or when, or what – like Nike says, Just Do It!
• Complete the task you start. Stopping to go focus on something else will only keep you in the yucky pool longer
• Take advantage of the momentum and jump right into the next task
• If you notice you’re suddenly getting a surge of creative ideas (yup, that does happen), just take some time to write them down, but under no circumstances allow yourself to deviate from your current task
• Celebrate! Really, take time to do something nice for yourself. You have now moved yourself into the nice pool of victory.

Next time you’re having a pity-party, fire your event coordinator and bring in Intentional Action to the rescue!