Hello Wise Heart!
Can you believe we are already heading into fall?!? It’s amazing how time flies! It’s been more than a month since I went to Brazil to see my daughter and relatives. You may be wondering how it was to see my daughter after 19 months, huh? Well, it was emotional, happy, satisfying, beautiful, and like we’ve never been apart.
She’s becoming quite a fine young woman, and I’m very proud to see how much she has grown and matured. She’s 15, but she’s definitely an old soul and her maturity shows it.
Before I left for my trip to Brazil, I had made a determination to really take this journey as an opportunity to also do my own growth and soul searching. If you follow my page on Facebook or Twitter, you have probably read some of my daily posts as I journaled about my trip.
There were days when I wondered what this trip really meant to me. Yes, my daughter was the # 1 reason for my going, but there was something deeper beneath the surface. Here are some of the things I realized:
- I’m a lot more connected to my roots than I thought – I became very aware of the impact my past generation has on me and the ties that bind us together. I also became aware that I can choose to be the one who will end cycles that have disempowered the women in my lineage
- My work in the world is changing – as my awareness expanded and I became much more present to some cultural and societal issues, and how they have impacted my lineage, I felt a strong calling to become an advocate for women dealing with sexual violence. I’m not sure what this looks like yet in terms of what I’ll be doing, but the pull to do something is there
- The planet may be big, but our world is quite small – I became very present to our interconnectedness and how societies influence and impact each other and how we truly are responsible for the way things are in the world
- People are wakening up – there are many people who are taking a stand for the betterment of the country and are willing to do what it takes to create a better society, including bringing more awareness to the violence perpetrated against women
Those are just some of the highlights of what I was exposed to and realized. Does it reveal the whole picture? Probably not. I’m sure there’s so much more that I was not able to see or experience.
So where does this leave me?
My trip to Brazil was the awakening of many things and also the closing of many things. I feel that I’m still processing what this trip meant to me and where I’m going next. One thing is certain – there’s no “business as usual” for me right now. I’ve been questioning many things in my life – my biz, my purpose, my relationships, myself.
I feel as if I’m reaching the end of a cycle – a cycle that has lasted 15 years. I feel this Wise Heart Journey to Brazil was the completion of this cycle. I now stand in the unknown as I see doors closing behind me and doors in front of me remaining closed. I’m finding peace in this space.
It was not easy at first, since I’ve always had the next step revealed to me even before the door behind me had closed. That’s how I have been able to move from one thing to the next. But now? Now it’s different. I’m having to wait. I’m having to be patient. I’m having to trust. I’m having to be in allowance of what’s showing up, or in this case, not showing up. But I’m finding peace in the process. It’s okay. It’s what’s required for this dragonfly to emerge from the bellows of the muddy swamp.
I’m turning 40 in a couple of months and some people have suggested that, perhaps, it’s a closing of a decade and an opening of another. It could be, although, I don’t concern myself much with age. Whatever it is, I’m emerging anew. I’m emerging more grounded; definitely wiser, and definitely more sure of who I am and what is important to me.
I would love to know if you are experiencing any changes as well and how you are coping with them. Feel free to leave a commet or send me an e-mail.
I leave you with these words ~
A Wise Heart questions where she’s headed in life. She will question if there truly is a point to everything, including her passion. She will question if she will really ever reach her dreams. She will question her motives and if they align with her true self. She will question her sanity when everything around her is not matching her vision. She will question the path and where she is on it. And in her questioning she will discover many things that only her heart can answer. And she will discover that, no matter which questions she asks, she will never give up on herself. She may adjust the compass to reflect her shifts, but she will keep forging ahead more expanded, more grounded, and wiser.